Oto przykład jednego z bardziej absurdalnych, kobiecych lęków, jakie miałam niedawno przyjemność poznać.
Wieczorna rozmowa telefoniczna.
– Wiesz, martwię się.
– Czym? Przecież przed chwilą pisałaś, że wszystko cudownie wam się układa.
– Ale…
– Już nie wymyślaj sobie problemów.
Chwila ciszy w słuchawce. Poddaję się.
– No dobra, o co chodzi?
– Martwię się o niego.
O ile mi wiadomo, mąż znajomej jest okazem zdrowia, więc czuję się lekko zdezorientowana.
– Bo wiesz, za trzy tygodnie stuknie mu czterdziestka piątka!
-I?
– I jak nic zacznie mi się starzeć!
Parsknęłam śmiechem.
– Przecież on ciągle biega na basen, jeździ na siłownię, podobno zdrowo się odżywiacie, więc o co ci chodzi?
Pauza po drugiej stronie. Słyszę głębokie westchnienie znajomej. Wiecie, z rodzaju „o rany, ja to mam ciężko”.
– Może tego tak na zewnątrz nie widać, ale to nie jest już ten młody chłopak, który mnie oczarował na studiach.
Stan mojej dezorientacji znacznie wzrasta (przecież parę tygodni temu słuchałam jej gorących wyznań miłości do życiowego partnera!). Nagle w mojej głowie rozlega się dzwonek alarmowy. Wykrzykuję w słuchawkę:
– Nie mów tylko, że go zdradzasz?!
Po drugiej stronie odpowiada mi stłumione prychnięcie.
– Gdzie tam!
– No to, o co ci chodzi?
– Jak by to ująć… Zamierzam go zdradzić. Ale tylko raz i w celach poznawczych.
Wytłumaczenie kiepskie, jak każde inne, prawda?
– Daj spokój, co za durny powód i jeszcze durniejszy pomysł!
Wtedy znajoma wprowadza mnie w krąg swoich fobii. Otóż, kiedy była dwunastoletnią dziewczynką, zobaczyła – jej zdaniem – najgorszą rzecz w świecie! Potworność nad potwornościami! Któregoś pięknego świątecznego poranka (nie pamięta nawet, czy to była Wielkanoc czy Boże Narodzenie) wbiegła do gościnnego pokoju, zapominając o starym wujku, który przyjechał do jej rodziców z wizytą. Ów starszy pan, jak się okazało, sypiał bez bielizny – „dla zdrowotności”.
– Ty sobie nawet nie wyobrażasz, jakie to było wstrętne, fuj!
Jej odczucia estetyczne na zawsze splamił widok nagich, obwisłych, starczych męskich pośladków.
– Właśnie dlatego muszę to zrobić. Facet jest starszy o dziesięć lat od mojego, równie wysportowany, zadbany. To tak, jakbym zobaczyła przyszłość.
Zaczęłam się śmiać. Eksperyment pośladkowy znajomej rozłożył mnie na łopatki. Dawno nie słyszałam głupszego pomysłu. Jej przystojnemu, wysportowanemu mężowi groziło przyprawienie rogów, ponieważ żona chciała się przekonać, czy będzie w stanie znieść starszą wersję jego pośladków.
– Daj sobie z tym spokój. Chyba brakuje ci zajęć, skoro wymyśliłaś sobie coś takiego.
– Ale ja naprawdę się boję, że kiedyś obudzę się w naszej sypialni, zsunie się kołdra z łóżka, a ja zobaczę obwisłą, starczą…. brrrr..
Kobiety lubią się zamartwiać. Znajoma nigdy nie kryła i nie kryje swojej niechęci do jakichkolwiek ćwiczeń fizycznych. Mimo to martwi się estetyką starzejącego się tyłka swojego wysportowanego męża. Ciekawe, prawda?🤔Wiem, jestem teraz złośliwa. Jeszcze tego samego wieczora przesłałam jej pewien dowcip (do przeczytania pod wpisem), wraz z dopiskiem: „Uważaj, żeby Cię mąż nie przyłapał tym eksperymencie 😎”.
Facetowi żona zaczęła mówić przez sen. Jakieś jęki i imię Rysiek…
Niewątpliwie doprawiała mu rogi i facet szybko doszedł do takiego samego wniosku. Aby to sprawdzić, pewnego dnia udał, że wychodzi do pracy, po czym schował się w szafie. Patrzy, a tu żona idzie pod prysznic, układa sobie włosy, maluje się, perfumuje i w samej koszulce nocnej wraca do łóżka. W tym momencie otwierają się drzwi i wchodzi Rysiek…
Super przystojny, wysoki, śniada cera, czarne, bujne włosy – jednym słowem bóstwo.
Facet w szafie myśli: „Muszę przyznać, że ten Rysiek to ma klasę!”.
Rysiek zdejmuje powoli koszulę oraz spodnie, same stylowe ciuchy, najmodniejsze i najdroższe w tym sezonie.
Facet w szafie myśli: „Szlag, ale ten Rysiek, to jednak jest za….isty!”.
Rysiek kończy się rozbierać od pasa w górę, a tu na brzuchu mięśnie krateczka-kaloryfer, wysportowany, a klatka jak u gladiatora.
Facet w szafie myśli: „Ten Rysiek to ekstra gość!”.
Rysiek zdejmuje super-trendy bokserki, a tu penis – cudowny, pierwsza klasa.
Facet w szafie myśli: „O żesz ty, Rysiek jest rewelacyjny!” .
W tym momencie żona zdejmuje koszulę nocną i pojawia się ciało z cellulitisem, obwisłe piersi, rozstępy…
Facet w szafie myśli: „Ja pier..lę! Ale wstyd przed Ryśkiem”.
Thank you for some other informative web site. The place else may I am getting that type of info written in such a perfect means? I have a mission that I’m just now operating on, and I’ve been on the look out for such information.|
Hello there, You’ve done a great job. I will definitely digg it and personally recommend to my friends. I’m confident they will be benefited from this website.|
Amazing! Its genuinely amazing article, I have got much clear idea about from this paragraph.|
Howdy! Quick question that’s completely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My weblog looks weird when viewing from my iphone. I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to correct this issue. If you have any recommendations, please share. Thank you!|
These are in fact great ideas in on the topic of blogging. You have touched some nice factors here. Any way keep up wrinting.|
My family all the time say that I am killing my time here at web, except I know I am getting know-how daily by reading such pleasant content.|
Hi there to every one, the contents existing at this site are in fact awesome for people knowledge, well, keep up the nice work fellows.|
I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great. I don’t know who you are but definitely you are going to a famous blogger if you are not already 😉 Cheers!|
I’m not sure exactly why but this site is loading very slow for me. Is anyone else having this problem or is it a problem on my end? I’ll check back later on and see if the problem still exists.|
What’s Happening i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I have discovered It absolutely helpful and it has helped me out loads. I’m hoping to contribute & assist other users like its helped me. Good job.|
Hi colleagues, good post and fastidious urging commented at this place, I am really enjoying by these.|
My spouse and I stumbled over here different website and thought I may as well check things out. I like what I see so i am just following you. Look forward to looking into your web page for a second time.|
Thank you so much for helping me.
What’s Happening i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve found It positively helpful and it has aided me out loads. I hope to contribute & help different customers like its aided me. Great job.|
Thank you for sharing your info. I truly appreciate your efforts and I am waiting for your next post thank you once again.|
I simply could not go away your site before suggesting that I actually loved the standard info a person provide on your guests? Is gonna be again ceaselessly in order to check out new posts|
I have been exploring for a bit for any high quality articles or weblog posts in this sort of area . Exploring in Yahoo I finally stumbled upon this website. Studying this information So i am happy to exhibit that I have a very just right uncanny feeling I found out just what I needed. I such a lot definitely will make sure to do not omit this website and provides it a glance regularly.|
I’ve been exploring for a little bit for any high-quality articles or weblog posts on this sort of house . Exploring in Yahoo I eventually stumbled upon this web site. Reading this information So i am happy to express that I’ve a very good uncanny feeling I discovered exactly what I needed. I so much for sure will make sure to don?t disregard this site and give it a glance regularly.|
I am extremely impressed together with your writing skills as neatly as with the layout on your blog. Is that this a paid subject matter or did you modify it your self? Either way stay up the nice high quality writing, it is rare to peer a nice blog like this one these days..|
I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your blogs really nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your site to come back later on. Cheers|
I am actually delighted to glance at this weblog posts which consists of plenty of helpful facts, thanks for providing such information.|
This design is incredible! You most certainly know how to keep a reader amused. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Great job. I really loved what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!|
These are in fact wonderful ideas in on the topic of blogging. You have touched some good factors here. Any way keep up wrinting.|
Yes! Finally someone writes about keyword1.|
Hi my loved one! I want to say that this post is awesome, nice written and include approximately all significant infos. I’d like to look extra posts like this .|
Very rapidly this site will be famous among all blog people, due to it’s nice articles|
I agree with your opinion. From now on I will always support you.
Quality articles, I am waiting for your next article. keep working
each time i used to read smaller articles or reviews that as well clear their motive, and that
is also happening with this article which I am reading now.
Asking questions are in fact pleasant thing if you are not
understanding something completely, except this piece of writing offers
nice understanding even.
Greetings I am so excited I found your web site, I really found you by mistake,
while I was searching on Aol for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say thank you for
a fantastic post and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the
theme/design), I don’t have time to look over it all at the minute but I have book-marked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back
to read much more, Please do keep up the great job.
Heya i am for the first time here. I found this board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and help others like you helped me.|
The next time I read a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I imply, I do know it was my option to read, but I truly thought youd have something attention-grabbing to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you may fix in the event you werent too busy searching for attention.
Hi there! Someone in my Myspace group shared this website with us so I came to take a look.
I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m bookmarking and will be tweeting this to my followers!
Exceptional blog and great style and design. cheap flights 3aN8IMa
Hurrah! At last I got a website from where I be able to in fact obtain valuable information regarding my study and knowledge.|
I’ll right away grab your rss as I can’t in finding your e-mail subscription link or newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Kindly let me realize in order that I could subscribe. Thanks.|
First of all I would like to say excellent blog! I had a quick question which I’d like to ask if you do not mind. I was curious to find out how you center yourself and clear your thoughts prior to writing. I’ve had difficulty clearing my mind in getting my thoughts out. I truly do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are usually wasted simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any recommendations or tips? Many thanks!|
I’m not sure exactly why but this weblog is loading
extremely slow for me. Is anyone else having this issue or is it a problem on my end?
I’ll check back later and see if the problem still exists.
I visited multiple blogs but the audio feature for audio songs present at this website is truly
fabulous.
Hi there, just wanted to say, I liked this article.
It was practical. Keep on posting!
What’s up to all, because I am really keen of reading this webpage’s post to be updated daily.
It carries pleasant information.
Hey there! I simply wish to give you a big thumbs up for your excellent
info you have got here on this post. I’ll be returning to
your website for more soon.
Feel free to surf to my web page – Game Win 88
Tips That Will Make Your Upcoming Trip Memorable
I’ve been exploring for a little bit for any high quality articles or weblog posts in this kind
of area . Exploring in Yahoo I at last stumbled upon this site.
Reading this info So i’m happy to express that I’ve an incredibly good uncanny feeling I discovered exactly what I needed.
I so much definitely will make certain to don?t disregard this web site and give it a look on a relentless basis.
Heya this is kind of of off topic but I was wanting to know if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding experience so I wanted to get advice from someone with experience. Any help would be enormously appreciated!|
We are a bunch of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our
community. Your web site provided us with helpful info to work on. You’ve
done an impressive job and our entire neighborhood might
be grateful to you.
Hello would you mind letting me know which web host you’re utilizing?
I’ve loaded your blog in 3 different browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot quicker then most.
Can you recommend a good web hosting provider at a reasonable price?
Thanks, I appreciate it!
I would like to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in writing this site. I’m hoping to view the same high-grade content by you later on as well. In truth, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my very own site now 😉
Highly desscriptive post, I likedd that a lot.
Will thee bbe a part 2?
Very good post! We are linking to this particularly great post on our site. Keep up the great writing.|
When I originally commented I clicked the „Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get three e-mails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Cheers!|
Nice article
I could not refrain from commenting. Very well written!
amazing
amazing article
Thanks
Amazing
Thank you very much
This is very fascinating, You are an overly professional blogger. I have joined your feed and sit up for in quest of extra of your great post. Additionally, I’ve shared your site in my social networks|
May I just say what a comfort to discover somebody that actually understands what they are talking about on the net. You actually understand how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More and more people ought to read this and understand this side of your story. I can’t believe you are not more popular given that you surely possess the gift.|
Thanks for the good writeup. It if truth be told used to be a amusement account it. Look complicated to more brought agreeable from you! By the way, how could we be in contact?|
Wow, awesome blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your web site is wonderful, let alone the content!|
Thanks for sharing such a fastidious thought, article is nice, thats why i have read it completely|
Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to far added agreeable from you! However, how can we communicate?|
nice article
I don’t even know the way I ended up right here, but I believed this put up was once great. I do not recognize who you are however certainly you’re going to a famous blogger in case you aren’t already. Cheers!|
Please let me know if you’re looking for a article writer for your blog. You have some really good articles and I believe I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d absolutely love to write some content for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please shoot me an e-mail if interested. Regards!|
Nice blog here! Also your website loads up very fast!
What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link
to your host? I wish my website loaded up as quickly as yours lol
Today, while I was at work, my cousin stole my iPad and
tested to see if it can survive a thirty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation.
My iPad is now destroyed and she has 83 views.
I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!
You should take part in a contest for one of the most useful blogs online. I’m going to highly recommend this website!
Attractive section of content. I just stumbled upon your site and in accession capital to assert that I get actually enjoyed account your blog posts. Anyway I’ll be subscribing to your augment and even I achievement you access consistently quickly.
Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to more added agreeable from you! By the way, how could we communicate?
Just desire to say your article is as amazing. The clearness in your post is just great and i can assume you’re an expert on this subject. Fine with your permission let me to grab your RSS feed to keep updated with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please keep up the gratifying work.
Hi, I do believe this is an excellent web site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I will revisit once again since I bookmarked it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich and continue to help other people.
Hello, Neat post. There is an issue with your site in internet explorer, might test this… IE nonetheless is the marketplace chief and a good part of people will miss your fantastic writing because of this problem.
I do believe you will find there’s trouble with your internet site making use of Flock internet browser.
http://www.upme.net/cgi-bin/top/adult/out.cgi?id=hkforum&url=https://adulterre.net
http://dollarcostaveraging.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=adulterre.net/
http://4pickup.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=adulterre.net
hello there and thank you for your information – I’ve certainly picked up something new from right here. I did however expertise some technical points using this website, since I experienced to reload the site lots of times previous to I could get it to load properly. I had been wondering if your hosting is OK? Not that I am complaining, but slow loading instances times will sometimes affect your placement in google and can damage your high-quality score if ads and marketing with Adwords. Anyway I’m adding this RSS to my email and can look out for much more of your respective exciting content. Ensure that you update this again very soon..
I’m no longer certain where you’re getting your information, however great topic. I must spend a while finding out much more or working out more. Thank you for great information I was looking for this info for my mission.
Excellent beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your site, how can i subscribe for a blog website? The account aided me a acceptable deal. I have been a little bit familiar of this your broadcast offered vibrant clear idea
Somebody essentially help to make seriously articles I would state. This is the first time I frequented your web page and thus far? I amazed with the research you made to create this particular publish incredible. Excellent job!
I simply want to say I’m new to blogging and honestly liked your blog. Almost certainly I’m going to bookmark your blog . You amazingly have fantastic posts. Thanks a bunch for sharing with us your blog site.
The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.
Hey very cool blog!! Man .. Beautiful .. Amazing .. I’ll bookmark your web site and take the feeds also…I’m happy to find numerous useful information here in the post, we need work out more techniques in this regard, thanks for sharing. . . . . .
I have figured out some important things through your blog post. One other subject I would like to talk about is that there are plenty of games in the marketplace designed specifically for preschool age kids. They contain pattern acceptance, colors, dogs, and designs. These generally focus on familiarization as opposed to memorization. This makes children and kids occupied without having the experience like they are studying. Thanks
Wow, fantastic blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your site is magnificent, let alone the content!
It’s perfect time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy. I have read this post and if I could I want to suggest you some interesting things or tips. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article. I want to read even more things about it!
Hi would you mind letting me know which webhost you’re utilizing? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 different internet browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot faster then most. Can you recommend a good hosting provider at a reasonable price? Kudos, I appreciate it!
As soon as I noticed this internet site I went on reddit to share some of the love with them.
Wow! This can be one particular of the most beneficial blogs We have ever arrive across on this subject. Actually Excellent. I’m also a specialist in this topic therefore I can understand your hard work.
http://myc-span.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=integralporn.com/
http://open-goal.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=bestpornsites.guide
http://xiradix.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=bestpornsites.guide
I am really impressed with your writing abilities and also with the layout in your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it your self? Either way keep up the excellent quality writing, it’s uncommon to look a nice blog like this one today..
I have seen that expenses for on-line degree experts tend to be a great value. For example a full Bachelors Degree in Communication from The University of Phoenix Online consists of Sixty credits with $515/credit or $30,900. Also American Intercontinental University Online makes available Bachelors of Business Administration with a total education course element of 180 units and a cost of $30,560. Online learning has made obtaining your college degree much simpler because you can easily earn your current degree from the comfort of your dwelling place and when you finish working. Thanks for other tips I have certainly learned through your web site.
I absolutely love your blog and find most of your post’s to be just what I’m looking for. can you offer guest writers to write content for you personally? I wouldn’t mind creating a post or elaborating on a number of the subjects you write concerning here. Again, awesome website!
This design is steller! You definitely know how to keep a reader amused. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Great job. I really enjoyed what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!
I simply want to tell you that I am just new to weblog and certainly liked your web site. Most likely I’m want to bookmark your website . You actually come with fantastic articles. Many thanks for sharing with us your web site.