Codzienność

Miłość istnieje

Marzena

 

Choć ludzie różnie definiują swoje uczucia związane ze sferą romantycznych uniesień, nie zmienia to faktu, że każdy chce kochać i być kochanym. Euforia, która towarzyszy wszelkiej maści romansom sprawia, że niektórzy z zakochiwania się potrafią zrobić swoistą „dyscyplinę sportową”. Ważne, żeby ciągle coś się działo. Stąd biorą się nałogowi flirciarze, kiedyś zwani potocznie „lovestorantami”. Dla nich liczą się te chwile, gdy zdobywają kolejną kobietę (tudzież mężczyznę), momenty, gdy ekscytacja nową miłosną przygodą osiąga szczyty. Niestety, „lovestoranci” skazani są na wieczną samotność. Ich gonienie za miłością jest tak samo zasadne, jak bieg psa za samochodem. Może i dogoni auto, tylko po co? Przecież nim nie pojeździ.

 

Wracając do miłości – wielu wierzy w istnienie TEGO JEDYNEGO. Wiarę tę weryfikuje życie, które pisze najdziwniejsze scenariusze.

Kobieta, o której chcę Wam opowiedzieć, już dawno nie żyje. Jej młodość to ciężkie lata powojenne. Wychowała się na wsi, która w tamtych czasach wciąż oświetlana była jedynie lampami naftowymi. Nie miała łatwego dzieciństwa. Mój ciocia, bo o niej dzisiaj Wam opowiem, była twardzielką. Nie pokonała jej żadna z szalejących wtedy chorób, które uśmierciły trzech maleńkich chłopców – jej młodszych braci. Przeżyła i wyrosła na piękną dziewczynę. Pamiętam z dzieciństwa (latem przyjeżdżała do nas na wieś) jej zgrabne, smukłe nogi. Była wtedy niemal osiemdziesięcioletnią starszą panią. To ona pokazała mi jak przyjemne jest opalanie topless. Dziękuję, ciociu 😘

 

Ciocia, mając zaledwie szesnaście lat spakowała skromną torbę i wyruszyła w świat. Osiedliła się na Śląsku. Jacyś dobrzy ludzie dali jej skromny kąt, podjęła też swoją pierwszą pracę. To wtedy go poznała. Młody, wysoki, przystojny brunet. Spotkali się na herbatce u znajomych. Zaiskrzyło. Zaczęły się wspólne spacery, rozmowy o wszystkim i niczym. To była najpiękniejsza jesień w życiu mojej młodziutkiej wtedy cioci. Nim nadeszła zima, ich usta połączył pierwszy gorący pocałunek. Ciocia była zakochana. Pierwszy raz w życiu.

Niestety, młodym nie dane było przeżyć wspólnie nadchodzącej zimy, która zasypała śniegiem cały kraj już na początku grudnia.

– Nie zdążyłam mu nawet powiedzieć, że go kocham.

Przystojny brunet zniknął z jej życia tak nagle, jak się pojawił. Nawet jego kuzynka nie potrafiła wyjaśnić cioci, co się stało. Mówiła coś o wyjeździe za granicę i wielkiej tajemnicy. Niespełna siedemnastoletnia dziewczyna, poznała straszny ból złamanego serca.

 

Mijały kolejne miesiące bez żadnej informacji o ukochanym. Z kolejną jesienią w cioci umarła reszta nadziei. Znalazła lepszą pracę w sąsiednim mieście. Łatwiej jej było pogodzić się z niezrozumiałą stratą w nowym miejscu, wśród obcych ludzi.

– Wtedy poznałam wujka. Był taki opiekuńczy, taki dla mnie dobry.

I tak w wieku dwudziestu lat ciocia stanęła na ślubnym kobiercu. Uroczystość była bardzo skromna, co nie przeszkadzało młodej mężatce. Czuła się kochana i bezpieczna.

– A Ty? Kochałaś wujka?

– Kochałam, kto mógłby nie pokochać takiego dobrego, troskliwego człowieka?

Odpowiadała z uśmiechem, gdy pytałam o jej męża. Życie potoczyło się swoim torem. Z trudem zdobyte mieszkanie, tak wytęsknione, zapełniły dziecięce głosy. Lata mijały – ich upływ ciocia widziała w coraz doroślejszym potomstwie.

– To nawet śmieszne, wiesz? Któregoś dnia obudziłam się i zobaczyłam, że jestem stara. Siwe włosy, wnuki. To takie dziwne, przecież w środku nadal miałam osiemnaście lat!

 

Wtedy nie rozumiałam tego ciocinego wyznania. Jednak czas jest dobrym i cierpliwym nauczycielem. Dzisiaj rozumiem ciocię. Wiem, że dusza nie posiada metryki.

 

Parę lat po przejściu na emeryturę ciocia została wdową. Znów poczuła się bardzo samotna. Owszem, miała dzieci, wnuki, jednak oni pletli swoją własną przyszłość. A ona? Chcąc odpocząć i podreperować zdrowie wyjechała nad morze. Od śmierci męża minęło kilka ładnych lat, ciocia zatęskniła za miejscem, do którego kiedyś, co roku, wyjeżdżali z małymi jeszcze dziećmi na wczasy.

 

To był drugi dzień pobytu nad morzem, gdy postanowiła udać się na samotny spacer piaszczystym brzegiem, tuż przy wyjątkowo spokojnej tafli wody.

– Zachodzące słońce raziło mnie w oczy. Już miałam wrócić po okulary, gdy potknęłam się i wpadłam na kogoś.

– Przepraszam, nic się pani nie stało?

Ten głos ciocia rozpoznałaby wszędzie. Szczupłe ciało starszej pani trzymał w ramionach dawny ukochany. Jej wysoki, przystojny brunet. Wystarczył moment, chwila krótka, uderzenie serca, żeby jej dusza go rozpoznała. Po twarzy starszego mężczyzny płynęły łzy.

– Były strasznie zaraźliwe. Staliśmy tam w nieskończoność płacząc i śmiejąc się, nie mogąc wymówić nawet jednego logicznego zdania!

 

W ten oto sposób ślepy (?) los zafundował mojej cioci spotkanie, jakiego nie powstydziłby się żaden twórca ckliwego romansu.

 

Co było potem? Żyli szczęśliwie, bardzo szczęśliwie, chociaż nie bardzo długo. W wieku siedemdziesięciu ośmiu lat ciocia wyszła po raz drugi za mąż. Po prawie sześćdziesięciu latach odnalazła swoją pierwszą, młodzieńczą miłość. „Mój jedyny” – tak o nim mówiła, gdy siedzieli w cieniu starego krzaku bzu trzymając się za pomarszczone dłonie. Gdy pytałam o powody zniknięcia ukochanego, odpowiadała, że takie były czasy, a on musiał ratować swoją skórę i bezpieczeństwo rodziny. Nie drążyłam tematu. Po takim czasie to było naprawdę nieistotne. Para zakochanych staruszków miała swoje tajemnice i to też było dla mnie piękne. W oczach nowego wujka widziałam tyle miłości, ciepła, gdy spoglądał na ciocię. Mówił o niej per „moja jedyna” – zawsze z tym samym uśmiechem wzruszenia na twarzy, jakby nie mógł uwierzyć w szczęście, które go w końcu dogoniło.

 

Sześć lat po spotkaniu nad morzem tych dwoje kochających się ludzi ponownie musiało się rozstać. Tym razem to nie ciocia została sama na świecie. Rozpacz wdowca łamała nam wszystkim serca. Mijały ciężkie miesiące, aż pewnej jesiennej nocy wujek poszedł śladami ukochanej. Kochankowie ponownie się spotkali. Tym razem na wieczność. Bardzo, ale to bardzo w to wierzę.

 

P.S. Nieważne, czy wierzycie w miłość, czy nie. Wiem, że ona istnieje. Widziałam ją. Jej twarz znaczyły zmarszczki, którymi życie zapisało radości i smutki. Była taka piękna 🙂

 

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